Coping Skills Are Replacing “Happily Ever After,” And That’s A Good Thing
In a world with countless conflicts, the focus in family narrative is moving from conclusiveness to how to cope with real life
Once upon a time, family stories started out just like this, and ended with, “and they all lived happily ever after.” The prince and princess would get married. The dragons were slain. The witches were ostracized. Everything that could fit into a metaphorical box would be packed into that ending, tight and neat.
Even before Covid-19, media for children and families had started changing from the “happily ever after” myths that haunt the back covers of storybooks and the tail ends of video tapes. With the world as it is now, with seemingly endless wars, a student loan crisis, environmental issues, racism, misogyny, people do not have time nor the resources to “ride off into the sunset.”
Below are a few examples of what exactly is happening in terms of this rejection of happily ever after and why that matters.
We Are In The Future
Steven Universe: The Movie tackles this subject head on. The 2019 film takes place in between Steven Universe and Steven Universe: Future, but can also stand alone as its own work. In one of the film’s opening songs, the title character celebrates the happy ending to Steven Universe. He completed all the obstacles, fought all the evil. Instead of singing an “I want” song, Steven basks in the accomplishments of his and his friends’, and sings:
“Once upon a time I thought I’d always be in my mother’s shadow…until I began to hone a power all my own that I can feel growing stronger every. Not just that the whole galaxy’s saved. We did it. Here we are in the future. Happily every after, here we are.”
Of course, this is the beginning of the movie, so the viewer knows that something rough is about to happen, and when it does, Steven is so upset about it. Where was his happily ever after? It felt promised to him. Looking around Steven’s bedrooms, there are nods to YA novels, vintage films, and retro video games. Media did not prepare Steven for the continued struggle of life, but his movie will help prepare others for increasingly uncertain times ahead.
As Steven Universe: The Movie progresses, Steven realizes that his work will never be done. After being without his powers for most of the film, Steven realizes that the source of his power’s source is the desire to change things and make them better. There is no finish line in life. Struggle is a part of living. Struggle can also be the source of strength.
Into The Unknown: How Did Disney Tackle This Concept?
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What about Disney, the grandparent of modern cliché? Would they ever make more realistic endings that went beyond a hetero couple riding off into the sunset?
Perhaps that’s one reason why 2013’s Frozen was such a success. The first film in the franchise creatively both accepts and rejects the notion of happily ever after. Elsa can control her powers, Ana has found someone to date and not marry right away, and there is no longer an active thread of wat for the kingdom. That kingdom, however, is in shambles, covered in water that melted from Elsa’s snowy outburst. This concluding image suggests that “the work” is not done, and one has to clean their own mess, albeit sometimes with help from their community.
In Frozen II, Disney full on rejects the notion of living happily ever after and embraces change. Similar to Steven Universe, Elsa acknowleges how fickle the promise of a “happily ever after” can be through song. In “Into The Unknown,” Elsa laments:
I’m sorry, secret siren, but I’m blocking out your calls
I’ve had my adventure, I don’t need something new
I’m afraid of what I’m risking if I follow you into the unknown
As the film progresses, Elsa embraces her connection to nature, and ends up bcoming a ruler, elsewhere. Ana becomes the queen of Arendelle and is engaged to be married. There is a notion of change as a currency for balance. The two learn more about why Elsa and her family were the way they were, and are doing what they can try and right the wrongs of the past. This is a “this is how it is now” kind of ending. A new normal. Will it be enough? Only time will tell.
Trolling The Happy Ending
Over at Dreamworks, the “step-daddy of them all,” the surprisingly mindful Trolls franchise has also leaves “happily ever after” in the dust, but does so in a feel-good type of way. In the first Trolls film, the Trolls fight for their freedom and safety from a larger species called the Bergans. With help from Anna Kendrick and the power of song, the Trolls and the Bergans are able to cohabitate side-by-side.
In Trolls: World Tour, the Bergans sit out the sequel as the Trolls extended universe opens up to show more and more Trolls all over their little world. Not only are there “Pop Music Trolls” like the ones introduced in the first film, there are also Trolls that live in different parts of the world and celebrate different types of music. Country, rap, funk, polka, and more are shown throughout the sequel. The film solidifies that the first chapter in the series was not a happily ever after, but just a new step in life.
When one Rock Music Troll, voiced by Rachel Bloom, tries to turn all other Trolls into rock n’ roll lovers, Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberlake need to team up again to save not just the Pop Music Trolls, but all of Troll kind. They succeed, of course, but with the newer knowledge of different types of Trolls having a long history of conflicts that might make one think of Game of Thrones, who’s to stay a conflict like this won’t happen again?
Instead of trying to resolve that for good, because that’s why the Pop Music Trolls were separated from the others in the first film, the Trolls choose to enjoy their lives, because they know that an attempted happily ever after can easily become upended.
Pixar. Cruel, cruel, Pixar
When the trailer for Onward was release, it was clear that viewers will have a hard time keeping their eyes dry. The film directly deals with two sons, Chris Pratt and Tom Holland, whose father passed away too soon. Thanks to magic, the boys have a chance to revive their father for one day. What could possibly go wrong?
What’s interesting about Onward is that aside from the late father, the conflict lies in the two brothers’ day to day: Chris Pratt’s character is out of school and known in the community as a bit of a screw-up and a bit of a fantasy-obsessed weirder fellow. The task of restoring their father with magic is the perfect way to get the brothers to bond and work through their issues to get to a better place as living siblings as opposed to two different sons of a dead father.
The movie’s ending is just so sad and beautiful, like nearly every Pixar film. There can’t be a “happily ever after” because Tom Holland’s character does not specifically receive the “closure” of seeing his father in his physical form. While the characters came to a conclusion that Tom Holland didn’t need to see his dad because Chris Pratt was a great role model all along, and that’s sweet, but still, it stings.
Instead of finding out what happens to these characters, the film closes with the brothers getting ready for another adventure. They are still learning about magic. They have a new van. They are more confidant than ever. Sequel, anyone?
Why Do Coping Skills Matter?
It’s important that narratives geared towards youths and adults focus on coping rather than a happily ever after ending because coping skills are some of the most useful. Someone well versed in coping techniques is better prepared to deal with adversity, adapting to challenges, is more confident, has, and meeting new people, among other bonuses.
With the turbulent news cycle of the Trump era, a global pandemic, and a world with too many issues to count, it’s important that coping is taught early and reinforced often. Whether it was intentional or not, these narratives help better prepare us for what sort conflict affects us as we scroll, as we live, and as we thrive.
